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Thu Jan 12 21:14:02 GMT 2006

color, at least. We're thinking about changing that. Kinda. We're
running out of usable color schemes. I'd like to use the same
background images in each newsletter, which will actually speed up
things for those of you who read more than one regularly (since
they'd be cached). This will also decrease our server load, and
allow us to use new colors without having to get too creative.
"Huh?" The title bars and text colors will stay - they're great
visual cues. I'm hoping to make the background images color
neutral, like a much lighter (and whiter) spin on the one we're
currently using for the <a href="">Penguin Shell</a>. I
may have a mock-up for y'all soon. Of course, by then, we may have
switched everything over to the "new" system. This is a functional
change, folks. I'm interested in hearing what you have to say
about it first, though. Don't make me break out the burnt sienna;
it was bad enough when we decided on sea foam (hospital) green for
the Bits & Bytes. Paging Dr. Scalability!

<p align="right">See You in <a target="_blank" href="">August</a>,&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;<br><font style="font-size: 23pt" face="Chris Pirillo, Script" size="5">Chris Pirillo&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;</font></P>

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<B>Molecular Weight Calculator v6.12 [2.1M] W9x/2k/XP FREE</b>
{Weigh them molecules} Who needs a molecular weight calculator? I
sure don't. But you see, my friends, I not only feature stuff
that's useful to me, but stuff that might be useful to others, as
well. Therefore, let me introduce all of you &quot;chem&quot; Gnomies to
this lovely little calculator. It contains a formula finder, an
amino acid notation converter (I just sold mine on eBay last
month), and a capillary calculations monitor - just to name a few
features. &quot;Note the notation used to enter a molecular formula and
note how the program can display multiple formulas simultaneously,
while formatting them with subscripts as needed, plus superscripts
for isotopes.&quot; Yes, please note that. Don't make me repeat it
6.022 times ten to the 23rd times.


<B>Verbix v4.2 [1.2M] W9x/2k/XP FREE</b>
{Mastering foreign verbs} Conjugations can tie a person's head in
knots. Not to mention, their tongue. Okay, they might not be too
difficult to understand in your native language, but what if
you're trying to study a different one? Those things can trip you
up bigtime. This program was designed specifically for learning
verbs; over one hundred languages are supported (pending
registration). Besides being a wonderful learning tool, it can
also save you a lot of &quot;look it up in the dictionary&quot; time.
&quot;Unlike any other sources, Verbix for Windows also returns the
glossary look-up form from any inflection; you no more need to
know them by heart!&quot; Free languages include: Arabic, Dalmatian,
Ancient Egyptian, Classical Greek, Mandarin Chinese, Japanese,
Klingon, and a few others.

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<td valign=top align=center><a target="_blank" href=""><img src="" height="62" width="51" alt="Giving you the power to quickly and easily avoid the hassle of junk mail, Inbox Protector is a Microsoft Outlook add-In, which scans incoming E-Mail, redirecting unwanted junk mail to a separate folder for later inspection if necessary." border="0"></a></td>
<td valign=top align=center><a target="_blank" href=""><img src="" height="75" width="47" alt="TECHNOLOGY can be frustrating for new and intermediate computer users, UNTIL NOW. Join us for a FREE Windows Newsletter, video tutorials, articles, special reports, and more!" border="0"></a></td>
<td valign=top align=center><a target="_blank" href=""><img src="" height="60" width="39" alt="IPCheck Server Monitor monitors a network using various protocols (e.g. ping, http, smtp, ftp) and notifies the staff in various ways as soon as an outage occurs." border="0"></a></td>
<td valign=top align=center><a target="_blank" href=""><img src="" height="62" width="62" alt="Shortcut to RDesk.exe" border="0"></a></td>
<td valign=top align=center><a target="_blank" href=""><img src="" height="60" width="52" alt="Webserver Stress Test Tool simulates simultaneous users accessing a web server and helps to streamline your web application. Essential for every web developer, webmaster or web marketer!" border="0"></a></td>

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<B>How to Use Dates and Times in Microsoft Excel</b>
 <A CLASS=URL HREF=";EN-US;Q214094">;EN-US;Q214094</A><BR>
&quot;Microsoft Excel stores all dates as integers and all times as
decimal fractions. With this system, Excel can add, subtract, or
compare dates and times just like any other numbers, and all dates
are manipulated by using this system. In this system, the serial
number 1 represents 1/1/1900 12:00:00 AM. Times are stored as
decimal numbers between .0 and .99999, where .0 is 00:00:00 and
.99999 is 23:59:59. The date integers and time decimal fractions
can be combined to create numbers that have a decimal and an
integer portion. For example, the number 32331.06 represents the
date and time 7/7/1988 1:26:24 AM. To help you perform complex
date and time calculations, Microsoft Excel includes many built-in
date and time functions.&quot;

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<B>Enough with the Passwords, Already!</b>
    <BR>Scribbled by Ron Pelton
Jake wrote about e-commerce solutions while explaining the absence
of your store. Sounds like he found a good one, but now I get just
a little steamed. When grocery shopping, fueling the family
transportation system, Christmas shopping, or whatever commerce
that is done in the non-digital world, do you have to provide a
password so that a merchant will let you browse or (worse) let you
make a purchase. Of course not!
At this point, I have password overload and have sworn off online
purchases. There are some exceptions, however. To date, 26 online
merchants have lost me as customer because of a request for a
password. I have written to each one of them after backing out of
their shopping carts to let them know that they lost a sale - and
to request a rational reason [as to] why I should invoke an
accounting program to track passwords when it is not necessary in
real life. Even, which provides a wonderful service,
has begun some selling on its own and lost a sale to me. NOBODY
has even had the courtesy to respond with an attempted answer. The
truth is, all you need is enough personal information to conclude
that I am a real person with a real credit card, which is more
than they do at Wal-Mart where they don't even bother to compare
signatures (or even gender). I hope Jake's new program is customer
friendly, not just administratively friendly.
(Furo) Agreed. It's stupid to have to register on a site just to
place an order with them. It's not like they won't have a way to
market to you anyway, so why the registration? Oh, gee whiz, so
you remembered my shipping address... big deal. One way I get back
at them is to re-register every time I place a new order, creating
an email account just long enough to get the receipt, then I
destroy the email account so further emails are bounced back to
them. Sure, it's a little more work, but bleep 'em. It's worth it!
I don't normally do that for large sites like Amazon, but I do for
the small shops. I did that exact thing on Monday to a site
because they forced me to register. My order should be here today
and I'll never have to hear from them again and I don't have to
remember a password for their site.
(Jake) Actually, until the legal system gets changed to more
closely match the Internet transaction space, or a better
verification system gets put in place to make fraud less likely,
the more information a site can gather and store about its
customers, the better. The burden of proof with all transactions
occurring on the Internet lies with the seller. If a purchaser
chooses to block the transaction, even after they've already
received delivery of the product, too bad for the retailer - they
eat the cost of the merchandise and get an extra charge to boot.
Lockergnome can't afford those risks; I'm guessing that most small
retailers can't either. If that happened with only one
transaction, it would take as many as several hundred transactions
to make up the lost revenues.
Making customers provide more information about themselves helps
ensure that abusers are going to be less likely to want to cheat
the system because it becomes inconvenient. It is less expensive
for a company to sit on extra inventory, creating a longer
inventory turn cycle - even if that inventory might have been sold
to a legitimate purchaser if they hadn't been forced to jump
through an extra hoop and provide information. In addition to
decreasing the likelihood of people defrauding the system in the
first place, retaining more information also provides further
ammunition for proving that the transaction was legitimate when it
gets called into question by the credit card company.
Many Internet sellers, including the previous company that hosted
our store's fulfillment, even go so far as to require buyers to
FAX a copy of the card for them to keep on file - in an effort to
take an extra step to ensure that they weren't dealing with a
phony. This did tick off some people (who chose not to purchase),
but it also kept their chargebacks down to virtually zero, with
their closest competitor in their space incurring upwards of $80k
in chargebacks per quarter. It would take a hell of an increase in
transactions to justify losing $25k+ / month to fraudulent
By our collecting names and addresses, forcing people to log in,
we've added a layer of protection that should act as a minor fraud
deterrent. If that also blocks a few purchases along the way, so
be it. If I truly believed that we would do more volume by making
the purchasing process easier and simultaneously not lose any
money by taking an extra risk, by all means - I'd go with a system
that was more &quot;wide open.&quot; However, people exist who will take
advantage of any easy means of defrauding the system, so until
there is a better system for defeating fraud, the &quot;best&quot; system is
having as much information as possible.

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<B>Open Diary</b>
{Read my thoughts} If you share your diary openly with other
people, should it still be called a diary? That was a rhetorical
question, really - it just popped into my head while I was
browsing the entries available here. Perhaps I might add my own
soon. &quot;Today I almost asked Susie to the Homecoming Dance. I hope
my Camaro starts.&quot; Anyway, if you have something to say and don't
mind sharing it, give this a short spin. There is a charge to use
the service, but it's small change, trust me. &quot;Open Diary is the
next generation of online diary communities. This community will
be limited to only 10,000 members. We are currently home to 2,821
online diarists.&quot; There ya go - rather exclusive.

<!-- TIP -->
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<font style="font-size: 10pt" face="Verdana, Tahoma, Arial" size="2">
Can you get rid of spyware? Can you turn Windows 95 into Windows Me?
Can you exchange data with your PDA? Can you encrypt files with PGP?
Discover what Smart Computing knows;
<a href="">get your FREE TRIAL issue today</a>!

<p><br><table bgcolor="#FFCC99" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" width="100%"><tr><td><p class="title">&nbsp;GnomeTIP</p></td></tr></table><p>
Who here doesn't use a Microsoft Office application on a regular
basis? Wow. I didn't realize there were so many of you. Look at
those icons. I mean, each one is a miniature work of art. Except
that one. Right there. You know, the ugly one on the end? Right-
click on a Toolbar and select the Customize option. Now, right-
click on any given &quot;ugly&quot; icon you'd like to change. Yes, that
Change Button Image menu is nice for other pre-formatted icons,
but what if you don't see what you want in there? Easy. Select the
Edit Button Image option. Look at that - a pseudo icon editor. If
you're so inclined, you can also edit menu items. As long as that
Customize dialog is still open, you can left-click to open a menu,
then right-click on any given option and change or add its icon.
If you mess up, then simply select the Reset Button Image option.
This thing is foolproof. Sure, you don't have many colors to
choose from, but how fancy do you really need these things to be?
I made a strawberry for Word's Insert Field menu option. It'll
stay there forever.

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&nbsp;<A HREF="">Geekathon 2002</A>
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<p>&nbsp;<p><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" border="0" width="100%" bgcolor="#FFEEDD"><tr><td><p class="sidebar">DVD SPECIALS</p></td></tr></table><br>
<a target="_blank" href="">Samsung V1000</a><br>
<a target="_blank" href="">Pioneer DV-444</a><br>
<a target="_blank" href="">Sony DVP-NS700P</a><br>
<a target="_blank" href="">Toshiba SD-5700</a><br>
<a target="_blank" href="">Panasonic DVD-RP56</a><br>
<a target="_blank" href="">Apex AD-1500</a><br>
<a target="_blank" href="">HP Access Point</a><br>
<a target="_blank" href="">Sony DVP-NS900V</a><br>
<a target="_blank" href="">Philips DVDR1000</a><br>
<a target="_blank" href="">RCA RC5240P</a><br></center>

<p>&nbsp;<p><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" border="0" width="100%" bgcolor="#FFEEDD"><tr><td><p class="sidebar">BONUS FILES</p></td></tr></table><br>
&nbsp;<a target="_blank" title="Software for organizing your personal movie collection. Add DVDs and videos quickly - no typing required! Group, filter, sort and print your database. Click for free trial version." href="">Movie Collector</a><br>
&nbsp;<a target="_blank" title="Be Warned! mh2O has been known to make top 100 recording artists out of Gnomies like yourself, with the aid of their free virtual music studio and royalty-free sample library." href="">Make Your Own Music</a><br>
&nbsp;<a target="_blank" title="ClipManager takes the Windows beyond your imagination. It is not only a simple clipboard enhancement; it's like 8 applications in one! And it's easy to use. Up to 25% off for Gnomies!" href="">ClipManager</a><br>
&nbsp;<a target="_blank" title="Convert MP3, WAV, AVI, JPG, GIF, and PNG to the SWF format for no buffer streaming" href="">Boomer! Stream Now</a><br>
&nbsp;<a target="_blank" title="Quick & easy capture of anything on a PC screen, even scrolling pages." href="">CaptureWizPro</a><br>
&nbsp;<a target="_blank" title="You will enjoy countless hours of fun with Pretty Good Solitaire!  Play 500 solitaire card games, from classic games like Klondike, FreeCell, and Spider, to original games found nowhere else.  Enjoy lush graphics, large easy-to-read cards, statistics, and quests, a unique new way to play for points." href="">Pretty Good Solitaire</a><br>
&nbsp;<a target="_blank" title="Choosing color combinations for the web is a careful balance between a scheme designed to draw attention; while being respectful of established color-harmony principles.  ColorCombo's four panels scroll, allowing side-by-side color comparisons.  Also text on background checker, 4096 color array, + more. FREE." href="">Visualize Color Combos</a><br>
&nbsp;<a target="_blank" title="FirstStop WebSearch(TM) Deluxe Edition, a FREE trial version of this incredibly fast, award winning, customizable multi-search engine that has been described as the FASTEST no-nonsense meta search for the net. Now, Gnomies can save 50% when they register a copy of FirstStop WebSearch!" href="">FirstStop WebSearch</a><br>
&nbsp;<a target="_blank" title="Ecobuilder is the ultimate web application that allows you to get your portal, online community, intranet, extranet or any web site project online by saving time, money and manpower. Gnomies receive $400 off the cost of the software." href="">Ecobuilder</a><br>
&nbsp;<a target="_blank" title=" Organize all your mp3 collection in seconds! You can rename mp3s quickly and easily, write tag information in batch, from file names or import it from cddb. Get your free trial now!" href="">Tag&amp;Rename</a><br>
&nbsp;<a target="_blank" title="Take control of your personal finances with this easy to use program. Features include: mortgages, retirement, home budgeting, investments, annuities and many more financial tools and calculators. 25% Discount for Gnomies" href="">Financial Advisor</a><br>
&nbsp;<a target="_blank" title="40% Lockergnome discounts on Nerdy Books Just the Tips, Man series for Office and Windows software! Over 500 time-saving tips, tricks and shortcuts in each book! And, one of the coolest newsletters around. (Even Chris likes it!) Impress your friends, your boss, even your kids. Get fast...Fast!" href="">500+ PC Tips</a><br>
&nbsp;<a target="_blank" title="Get the EBooksWriter LITE personalized for Lockergnome! The best ebook software available, for free! Not just a compiler, a nice all-in-one tool." href="">EbooksWriter LITE</a><br>
<p align="center"><a href=""><B>Get Listed Here</B></a></p> Question: which group is 250,000+ strong and always looking for stuff to make their personal and professional lives run smoother?

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<p>&nbsp;<p><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" border="0" width="100%" bgcolor="#FFEEDD"><tr><td><p class="sidebar">HAPPY FUN STUFF</p></td></tr></table><br>
And now, after you do a little <A HREF="">ComputingX</A>, see how stupid I can really be. I dare you to be more stupider. It's not going to happen in my lifetime.
<a href="">Did You Touch This?</a>

<p>&nbsp;<p><font style="font-size: 8pt" face="Verdana, Tahoma, Arial" size="1">
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<tr><td align="center"><font style="font-size: 7pt" size="1" face="Verdana, Tahoma, Arial">CLICK HERE TO ZOOM</font></td></tr></table>

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&copy;2002, Lockergnome LLC. ISSN: 1095-3965. All Rights Reserved. Please read our <a href="">Terms of Service</a>. Our Web site is hosted by <a href="">DigitalDaze</a>. Domain registered at <a href="">DNS Central</a>.

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I'll have four fried chickens and a Coke.


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